Remus' Diagnosis
by ObsessiveDevil
Summary: Sirius thinks he's having a heart attack. RemusXSirius RLSB.


-1**Remus' Diagnosis**

**RLSB Fan Fiction**

**Harry Potter**

**ObsessiveDevil23**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

It was Sunday, and all was quiet in the Gryffindor boys 7th year dormitory.

Remus Lupin was laying on the floor, quite happily writing an essay on the different uses of dittany, and the consequences of using it wrong, which was due in the following day. His quill made scratching sounds rhythmically, stopping every two minutes or so, so he could cover it in more ink.

James Potter was contently reading a book (don't worry; it had pictures), which was recommended to him by Lily Evans, and thus, he absolutely had to read if he had any hope of winning the feisty red-heads affections.

Peter Pettigrew was studying a battery for his Muggle Studies class, and couldn't think of anything more tedious. Unless you counted watching grass grow and paint dry, which were known for being tedious and so _didn't_ count. Though, he was sure if he watched paint dry _and_ grass grow, at the same time, they might actually be less boring then his current activity.

Sirius Black was sat on the edge of his bed, bored stiff and studying Remus intently, while the sandy-haired boys' quill scratched across his parchment steadily, and his head bobbed in concentration. And his ass clenched very slightly as he shifted to get more comfortable. The dark-haired teen quickly averted his gaze back to the predictable quill.

Sirius really did think Remus was something. He was cool and calm all the time, and he was incredibly smart; which was why he could leave essays to the last minute and not worry. He smiled affectionately at his friend.

There was a very brief moment where he realised that he wanted a lot more then Remus to continuously just _be there_, with his smarts and good-looks, and that it would be quite nice if those smarts and good-looks were just _his. _And hey, if Remus should wish to every so often kiss him, or do _other_ things to him? Well, that would be quite nice too. Then he felt a feeling of incredible unease and a pressure in his chest. He clutched at the front of his shirt, trying to rid himself of the slight pain, and found himself panting slightly. He screamed;

"Oh my God, I'm having a heart attack!" Effectively ruining the peace.

"Since when have you been religious?" Asked Remus, not stopping in the steady writing of his essay. Nor looking up, and registering that Sirius had just screamed he was having a heart attack. Since really, Sirius was overdramatic, and probably just doing it to get Remus' attention. Like that time he ran out of the shower naked - screaming about a spider, and when Remus had gone into investigate, and found no spider, admitted that he was really just bored and wanted to see Remus' reaction.

"Since I found out I'm _dying_!" Sirius answered, standing in order to get the werewolves attention. Remus glanced at his dramatic friend.

"You're dying?" he questioned, tilting his head slightly to the side in polite interest. Sirius nodded enthusiastically, inwardly congratulating himself for managing to grab Remus' interest, and smirking down at the essay, which now lay forgotten. _Take that, stupid essay_, he thought to himself. He breathed heavily, suddenly realising that now he had Remus' attention, he had no idea what to do with it. The smart, sandy-haired teen just watched in amusement as Sirius went through a series of emotions.

"I'm having a heart attack." Sirius repeated, almost as if trying to reassure himself, rather then his werewolf friend.

Remus stood up in a hurry, Sirius' unease making him worry, if only slightly. Besides, he was quite happy to play along with his friends antics for now; the essay was getting pretty boring anyway.

"Does your chest feel like it's being squeezed?" he enquired, putting a hand on Sirius shoulder and looking his dead in the eyes. Sirius nodded, in a daze and marvelling in Remus' ability to keep calm, even when his friend was obviously dying. He would admit he was also going slightly crazy at the contact of Remus large, rough, manly hand on his shoulder. He glanced at it, felt the heat rise up his neck, and looked back into Remus eyes. He started panting again, looking into Remus' sexy grey eyes.

"Do you feel any shortness of breath?"

Sirius, who was still panting, gave Remus a look that said 'obviously, or else I wouldn't be acting like an excited dog.' Although, Sirius was kind of excited. He'd never realised how alluring his friend was, and he'd never had a heart attack before.

"Anxiety?" asked Remus.

"What's anxiety?" breathed Sirius, unable to take his gaze away from Remus' eyes, and therefore not able to concentrate fully on what was being asked.

"It's like, unease, or dread." Explained Remus, to Sirius' question. Sirius nodded in answer.

"Feeling Light-headed?"

_After all this panting, anyone would feel light-headed_, thought Sirius, nodding his head again.

"Pain in your left arm? Nausea? Vomiting? Wheezing?" Remus was actually starting to worry now, seeing as most of the symptoms seemed to fit. What if Sirius really _was_ having a heart attack?

"Err… no."

Remus breathed a sigh of relief, patting Sirius on the shoulder reassuringly.

"It's alright Pads, you're not having a heart attack."

James cleared his throat, attracting the attention of both Remus and Sirius. He turned the page of his book slowly and deliberately, not taking his eyes off of the page. He read a few more lines before;

"Of course he isn't. It's just that while he was sat bored on his bed, admiring your ass, he just suddenly came to the rather shocking and sort of overwhelming realisation that he's painstakingly in love with you (hence the pressure in his chest and shortness of breath, I did choose the word 'painstakingly' for a reason). He mistook the symptoms of this epiphany for the symptoms of a heart attack because he's over dramatic, or perhaps he's just an idiot. Then again, there's always the possibility that he got over the shock incredibly quickly, and faked a heart attack to get your attention, which is something he would do. But that would be a completely pointless thing to have to do if he had realised that you're always paying attention to him. Since, let's face it, you are, and always have done ever since you realised your crush on him in 4th year. Well, actually, probably before that." James suddenly looked up from his book, into the eyes of his incredibly shocked, gaping friends. He bit his lip, realising he'd just outed both of them. "Of course, you could have diagnosed wrong, and he really is having a heart attack… in fact, we should probably get him to a hospital." he added meekly.

Remus rose a practised eyebrow in James' direction.

"You're right, we should get to a hospital."

"No! It's fine! I trust your judgement!" interjected Sirius, placing his hands on Remus' chest, he then realised what he had done, and removed them. He blushed and studied the ground with intense curiosity; perhaps hoping it would open and swallow him up. "Erm… James is right anyway. I was over dramatising to get your attention."

Remus smiled.

"I knew that from the beginning you dope. I'm saying we should go to a hospital because then we won't have to drag James' body there once I'm finished beating him to a pulp." he replied.

James gulped, standing up quickly, grabbing Pete and hauling them both out the room. Afterwards he popped his head back in.

"I'll let you two sort this all out." he told the two, winking at Sirius and sending Remus a look that clearly said 'please don't kill me', before going down to the common room.

Sirius, who couldn't help but notice how very _close_ he was to Remus, took a step back and played with his hair, blushing at the ground.

"Erm…" was his very intelligent response to the whole situation. He coughed and tried again. "Have you really had a crush on me since 4th year?"

Remus shrugged.

"Were you really checking out my ass?"

Sirius blushed, but shrugged.

"Are you really gunna beat up James?"

"First chance I get."

Sirius laughed.

"I've come to the conclusion, as James said, that I'm painstakingly in love with you." he stated, his voice a little quieter than normal. "And as such, should you happen to wish to kiss me…" he trailed off, letting the sentence hang in midair and letting Remus make of it what he would.

Remus grabbed Sirius wrist with his left hand and pulled Sirius close by his arm, kissing him passionately, and wrapping his other arm around the boys waist. Sirius placed his hands on the werewolves chest, and clenched his fists around the material of Remus' shirt. Eventually the two broke apart for air.

"Then, that'd be nice." Sirius finished, breathing heavily and once again feeling like he was going to have a heart attack. But then again, he could put up with it if it meant getting more of Remus' kisses.

**And done! XD This whole thing came from the words 'Oh my God I'm having a heart attack' uttered by myself when my left arm started hurting. Okay… so I can be a little dramatic. Unfortunately for me I don't have a sexy werewolf to make it all better. XD**

**Reviews always welcomed and appreciated. **


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